Miss?

Miss.

I miss you.
Yes YOU.

I've missed you for a while.

I've said it before; and our recent back and forth about
the whole thing/problem/issue
seemed to create friction, fuss and bitterness.

"I'm trying my best"
 - you are - I do not at all discount you on this.

Work has been found, income seems assured, paltry as it might seem in the grand scheme of things, it is income - rent can be paid, bills too, groceries. The basics.

I would think us for once, in these few months out here, finally happy, at least a little.

But the warmth is lacking. From us both. I don't just say that because we ling long, typing aimlessly on the computers after Little Hands sleeps, silent to each other, distanced only by a couch length.

When did we stop trying to be together? Why? Surely having a child can create some roadblocks on the road to the bed/floor/table, but when the moment is there, nothing.

For all my innuendo, outright perverted comments and occasional dirty pictures, it feels as though I am appearing desperate.

You mentioned, more than once, I am too distant at night. I don't seem very amiable; my cans on, lost in music, games.

I fully admit, after working all day in retail, being badgered, pressed and hollered at, cleaning at the beck and call of all and sundry, coming home to a kiddo who wants more clingy hugs, sex is not aLways on my mind.

Actually, it is, but I - like you - (note that I am cognizant of this) am tired. You stay home and watch the child - an equally draining task.

I like you, shut down at night these days. We play games, fart around on the internet. Any attempts at
intimacy is often rebuked by both of us.

The bedroom is left stagnant; filled with troubled words and concerns and frustrations.

I hope we can change that, what with our talk yesterday. I dream frequently you'll find another, and leave.

I hope that isn't a case of prescience.